Redskins Rivalry Rankings

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March 2, 2018

by Alex Zeese

Redskin rivalries – it’s a never-ending debate. Since it’s Friday, I thought I’d try to rank all 31 other teams from least hated to most hated. Preface: I will usually let some personal feelings get in the way when it comes to these rivalry rankings, because what is a rivalry if not something that gets you passionate? Besides, they are MY rankings. So if you don’t like that, too bad. I’m also marking down the skins career record vs each team.

31. Cleveland Browns

Record: 12-33 -1

I mean, you almost have to appreciate Cleveland Browns fans for even showing up at this point. Remember how we joked they would go 0-16, and then they did? Those were fun times. At this point I’d almost want to give the browns a pitty win… almost.

30. New York Jets

Record: 8-3-0

I will admit, I have a soft spot for the Jets. If I had to move to New York City for any reason I’d pick them up as my Non-Skins team. I think that’s what most Jets fans really are, people who moved to New York and couldn’t stomach rooting for the Giants.

29. Buffalo Bills

Record: 5-8-0

Again, I guess it’s some personal bias, a soft spot. Both my parents went to college in Buffalo, and I know a good number of people from the area having spent so many Summers in Upstate N.Y. and they are just so darn nice, and real nice not like that fake niceness in the Midwest.

28. Indianapolis Colts

Record: 10-20 -0

I’ve said it before – if the Colts hadn’t grabbed Payton Manning, they would basically be the Cleveland Browns This team’s been mismanaged for most their existence and just got lucky in picking the right QB in 1998. I really have no issue with the Colts.

27. New Orleans Saints

Record: 17-9-0

Now we get to the first NFC team on my list. I actually like the Saints. I like how they have re-built the team around Brees. New Orleans is a fun town, great spot to go on vacation, good food. We’ve had some memorable victories vs the Saints, so that makes it less of a rival.

26. Cincinnati Bengals

Record: 4-5-1

I’m still not over the fact that we let Marvin Lewis go to Cincy to be a just over .500 Head Coach. I wish Marvin Lewis had stayed on as the Skins DC or replaced Spurrier. We would have been better off.

25. Jacksonville Jaguars

Record: 5-1-0

We’ve owned the Jags in the few times we’ve gone head to head, but I don’t see it happening next time around. Hey, they are getting rid of the stupid 2 color helmets, so that’s 1 more point in my book.

24. Detroit Lions

Record: 27-14 -0

With Matt Stafford’s huge deal, you feel it almost locks up that they will never get anywhere. But you know what they said on the Simpsons: “lay off Detroit, they are living in Mad Max times up there.”

23. Tennessee Titans

Record: 6-6-0

Is there anything less exciting than to find out we are playing the Titans? They are the store brand vanilla ice cream of football teams. Everything about the Titans is just blah.

22. Houston Texans

Record: 2-2-0

Much like the Titans, whom they replaced, there’s not much to get excited about when we are playing the Texans. For me, I may get annoyed by some of my in-laws down in Houston, so I will be happy if we win.

21. Kansas City Chiefs

Record: 1-9-0

Ah the other Native American-themed football team. They sure look like they ripped off our team colors at some point. Kansas City BBQ is overrated. You would think the fact that we’re 1-9 vs the Chiefs would be a bigger deal for fans but it does not seem to be.

20. Minnesota Vikings

Record: 10-11 -0

The only reason the Vikings are even this high on my list is that they are in the NFC. If they were in the AFC they would be down with the Browns and the Jets.

19. Miami Dolphins

Record: 4-8-0

Yes, in the 1970s and 1980’s, we went head to head in a couple super bowls, and that’s kinda cool. Both teams are tied together with history. But we all came away winners in the end, with some nice hardware to show for it all.

18. Green Bay Packers

Record: 14-18-1

It’s hard for me to bring my self to hate a team when I can only respect how the organization builds its roster. Aaron Rodgers it the quarterback I wish we had.

17. Los Angeles Rams

Record: 24-11 -1
Respect Sean McVay, but I have to hate them for something, so lets say it’s because LA is a terrible city.

16. Arizona Cardinals

Record: 76-46 -2

It’s been almost 20 years now since the Cards left for the NFC West. Maybe this would matter a bit more if they were still in the same conference, but thank goodness they aren’t.

15. San Francisco 49ers

Record: 10-17 -1

I’m probably a bit too young to remember our four playoff games vs the 49ers. And they’ve had a bad streak of late, but if Kyle Shanahan turns that team around, expect them to shoot up the list.

14. Oakland Raiders

Record: 6-7-0

I’m conflicted. Should we dislike the Raiders because of their terrible fans in Oakland, or because of the worse fan base that they will find in Las Vegas?

13. Los Angeles Chargers

Record: 7-4-0

Don’t ask me why but when the Charges moved to LA they shot up my list of teams I don’t like. I kinda liked the San Diego Chargers, but not anymore.

12. Atlanta Falcons

14-9-1

Any dislike for the Falcons stems from 1 player, Mike Vick. I’m still not past hating that guy, and he should have never been allowed back in the NFL in my opinion. I’m not even a dog person, but I hate seeing that kind of mistreatment of an animal.

11. Denver Broncos

Record: 6-7-0

I’m gonna say the reason the Broncos are higher on my list is because it kinda feels like they played a big roll in sabotaging the relationship between the front office and Kirk Cousins. I know that’s irrational, but it’s how I feel.

10. Carolina Panthers

Record: 7-6-0

They’ve beat the snot out of us the last few times we’ve played. Cam Newton comes off as a spoiled brat at times, but I don’t generally mind. Apoiled brat QBs are a dime a dozen. I think it’s mostly envy.

9. Chicago Bears

Record: 22-20 -1

They were the Redskins’ oldest playoff rival, so that counts for something when you’re a history nerd like me. We played them in our first two championship games, and were demolished by them in 1940.

8. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Record: 10-10 -0

There was a chunk of time where the Skins and Bucs seemed to play each other every year, either in the playoffs or in the regular season, and I started disliking them. It’s going away some but right now it’s still there for me.

7. New England Patriots

Record: 6-4-0

I’m honest enough to say that this is all because of their success in the last 20 years. As soon as Brady and Belichick go I think they probably drop out of my top 10.

6. Seattle Seahawks

Record: 12-5-0

I feel like the Seahawks go out of their way to annoy others. The 12th man, annoying. Russell Wilson, annoying. Neon Green, super annoying. Kicked us out of the playoffs twice in recent years, just as annoying.

5. Pittsburgh Steelers

Record: 42-33 -3

This dislike has to do with two things. 1st, the city vs city rivalry kinda has intensified because of the Caps/Pens thing in the NHL. 2nd, their fans took over FedEx that one time, and we’re still not over it. I think it also stems from the fact that the Steelers are an older team, like the Skins, so we’ve been playing each other since the leatherhead days.

4. Baltimore Ravens

Record: 3-3-0

Location, location, location. The best reason to hate Baltimore is that it’s just so close. I’m always shocked that no major sports league has teams in Baltimore and Washington in the same conference. The natural rivalry would be perfect.

3. Dallas Cowboys
Record: 42-70-2

Five or ten years back this would have been my number 1. But I will be honest, my passion for Dallas week has subsided over the last few years, for whatever reason. It’s just not as exciting as it was back in the 90’s and 80’s when both teams mattered, and that’s on us. That said, I still want to punch everyone I see in DC wearing a cowboys hat.

2. Philadelphia Eagles

Record: 85-76-6

The Superbowl winners are only my number two, their fans suck and are annoying on their good days. Their city is a mess, even though I loved going to college up there. The only thing they have going for them is cheese steaks. Their long run of success under Andy Reid was bad enough, and now we’re gonna be dealing with it again for the next decade it seems.

1. New York Giants

Record: 67-99 -4

The last few years we’ve always faced the Giants to end the season, and they kicked our butts. They are technically our longest rivalry, being the first team we ever beat October 9, 1932, and the Brooklyn Dodgers we played the week before are no longer around. But the Giants always seemed to have a trick up their sleeves for us when we play, and I’m sick of it.

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